Annual Environmental Conference Humor

Top Ten Reasons...Commissioners Have Been Thrown Off Their Boards. (Year of 1999)

Sometimes we hear of attempts to remove sitting Commissioners in the midst of their terms. This is only allowed for "cause" such as when the person is unable or willing to do the job. When done for political reasons i.e. the appointing authority doesn't like the person's position on a particular case, this is illegal. More often, when we say "thrown off" we mean good, knowledgeable Commissioners who wish to be re-appointed but are not. When we asked Conservation Commissions and others to send us reasons they have heard given for failure to re-appoint, we got a wide range of answers. Here are the best 10... as determined by our esteemed judges.

10. Cared More About the Environment Than People

9. Voted To Deny Town Project

8. Didn't Know What I Was Doing

7. Knew Too Much About Environmental Law

6. Joked At Hearing: "Give Me $10k And I'll Vote For Your Project"

5. Insisted On Neighbors' Right To Speak At Hearings

4. Asserted Jurisdiction Over Local Politician's Land

3. Brought The Wetlands Regs To Hearings

2. Fell Asleep Too Often At Late Meetings

1. Select Board Said There Were "Anonymous" Complaints About Me

Top Ten Excuses for Filling Wetlands (Year of 1998)

Every Commission has been presented with various explanations of why a particular wetland was or should be filled. We thought it might be fun to solicit the best reasons. We received nearly 50 suggestions. Printed below are the most interesting and creative.

10. My truck always gets stuck in the mud.

9. No one told me it was a wetland.

8. It's not habitat -- it just breeds snakes and mosquitoes.

7. Haven't you heard of equine encephalitis?

6. It really isn't much of a wetland.

5. Those frogs kept me awake all night.

4. It wasn't wet when I filled it.

3. I had to put it somewhere -- that's why it's called "fill."

2. It's much neater without all those bushes and weeds.

1. It needs fill to hold the water table down.