Education >> Annual Environmental Conference>> Top 10 Funniest

Presented at the MACC Annual Environmental Conference March 5, 2011

TOP 10 Outrageous Excuses for Erosion and Sediment Control Failure

10. WITH CLIMATE CHANGE EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE ERODED ANYWAY
9. DIDN'T KNOW MY CONTRACTORS HAD EVEN STARTED WORKING
8. SO WHAT? THE DAMAGE IS ONLY TEMPORARY
7. THOUGHT STATE PROJECTS WERE EXEMPT
6. CONSTRUCTION SITES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DIRTY
5. HOPED THE JAPANESE KNOTWEED WOULD STOP THE EROSION
4. MY SUPPLIER RAN OUT OF HAYBALES
3. BEAVERS ATE ALL OUR LIVE STAKES
2. THEY DIDN'T PREDICT THAT MUCH RAIN
1. WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? WETLANDS LIKE SEDIMENT

Top 10 Most Pathetic Excuses for Violating an Order of Conditions

This year's list was presented during the Opening Session of AEC 2010.  MACC thanks everyone who submitted items.  The winning entries came from the Longmeadow, Lincoln, Shutesbury, Norfolk, Taunton, and Middleton Conservation Commissions, and from EcoTec and several individuals.

10. Not my interpretation of what the Order says.
9. But those areas aren't wet now.
8. Congress doesn't read bills before voting:  Don't blame me for not reading the permit.
7. Didn't think you'd catch me.
6. Followed plans submitted to board of health, not those given to Cons Com.
5. Maybe you told her no clear-cutting, but I don't talk to my wife.
4. The neighbor's dog did it.
3. "You" didn't leave me enough room between the house and the wetland.
2. Had to dump its load to get my truck out of the swamp.
1. My realtor said it was okay

Top 10 Reasons Commissioners Have Been Thrown Off Their Boards

Sometimes we hear of attempts to remove sitting Commissioners in the midst of their terms. This is only allowed for "cause" such as when the person is unable or willing to do the job. When done for political reasons i.e. the appointing authority doesn't like the person's position on a particular case, this is illegal. More often, when we say "thrown off" we mean good, knowledgeable Commissioners who wish to be re-appointed but are not. When we asked Conservation Commissions and others to send us reasons they have heard given for failure to re-appoint, we got a wide range of answers. Here are the best 10... as determined by our esteemed judges.

10. Cared More About the Environment Than People
9. Voted To Deny Town Project
8. Didn't Know What I Was Doing
7. Knew Too Much About Environmental Law
6. Joked At Hearing: "Give Me $10k And I'll Vote For Your Project"
5. Insisted On Neighbors' Right To Speak At Hearings
4. Asserted Jurisdiction Over Local Politician's Land
3. Brought The Wetlands Regs To Hearings
2. Fell Asleep Too Often At Late Meetings
1. Select Board Said There Were "Anonymous" Complaints About Me

Top 10 Excuses for Filling Wetlands

Every Commission has been presented with various explanations of why a particular wetland was or should be filled. We thought it might be fun to solicit the best reasons. We received nearly 50 suggestions. Printed below are the most interesting and creative.

10. My truck always gets stuck in the mud.
9. No one told me it was a wetland.
8. It's not habitat -- it just breeds snakes and mosquitoes.
7. Haven't you heard of equine encephalitis?
6. It really isn't much of a wetland.
5. Those frogs kept me awake all night.
4. It wasn't wet when I filled it.
3. I had to put it somewhere -- that's why it's called "fill."
2. It's much neater without all those bushes and weeds.
1. It needs fill to hold the water table down.